1,000 Reasons Not to Live Before You Die!

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September 24, 2010 by MK

#95

Cameron Crowe and Nancy Wilson split:

Well, we should all just go and get divorced now.  This is the guy who wrote the “In Your Eyes” boombox scene in Say Anything for chrissakes!  Arguably the most romantic scene of the modern era – a moment that sends you out of the theater and into a marriage proposal.  Shit, he wrote the f’ing “You complete me” scene in Jerry f’ing Maguire!  Arguably topping the boombox scene in one fell swoop!  This guy writes so romantically it makes me want to track down Fabio and pose in a sequined nightgown for the bodice-ripping novel of my dreams.

The only way this can be rectified is if Crowe hires Peter Gabriel himself to stand outside the wee-hours window of Nancy and sing a mash-up of “Magic Man” and “Sledgehammer” while Tom Cruise – standing on Gabriel’s shoulders – renounces his involvement in Scientology, burns his original copy of Dianetics and commits himself to reuniting this couple by any means necessary, even if he has to do it in character as Maverick while he sings “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’.”

Barring that, we can all just pack it in.

Thanks God.  Thanks a lot.

You had me at Goodbye.

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