The MDL Review: No Line on the Horizon

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March 5, 2009 by MK

nolineu2

So, we’ve already lamented the fact that Rolling Stone sent U2 to the showers early with that obligatory 5-star review.  But now that No Line on the Horizon has had a few official days to breathe, let’s put the MDL’s official review to web paper.

In short, it’s a mixed bag.  No Line rings with promise but descends to such comedic lows that it’s hard to believe all the talent in the room (U2, Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois and Steve Lillywhite) couldn’t recognize the difference between transcendent (‘Magnificent’) and truly dreadful (‘Stand Up Comedy’).  And the fact that perhaps the worst song on the album, “Get On Your Boots,” was chosen as the first single (let alone for album inclusion) is a stunning oversight.  You mean to tell me that Brian Eno, a man of impeccable taste, listened to “Boots” and said, “This needs to be on the album guys” (Digression:  I will say that the bridge of “Let me in the sound” is what the 80’s me would have called “rad”).  Or that he heard Bono’s lyrics from “Stand Up Comedy” and didn’t want to smash the boards with a Louisville Slugger?

Stand up, this is comedy
The DNA lottery may have left you smart
But can you stand up to beauty, dictator of the heart
I can stand up for hope, faith, love
But while I’m getting over certainty
Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady

Now, I come from the school of Lyrics Don’t Matter but this is simply too much to stomach.  It certainly doesn’t help that Bono’s vox are way up in the mix so there’s no eluding a line like, “I’ve got a submarine / You’ve got gasoline / I don’t wanna talk about wars between nations.”

But that’s the worst of it.  The best of it does, in fact, soar.  Opener “No Line on the Horizon” captures a “Where the Streets Have No Name” side 1/track 1 vibe.  And the perfect follow-up is achieved with the Pop-esque anthem “Magnificent.”  Tracks 3 and 4 remain sturdy enough to trick you into believing Rolling Stone’s 5-star review.  And then the bottom drops out.  As is their way, U2 frontloads the record with all the good songs, only to come up for air again with track 10’s ascending “Breathe.”

I hate to say it, but we’ve already heard this U2, and better.  They’re called Coldplay.  Especially when you consider that they took 5 years, aborted sessions with Rick Rubin, rounded up their powerhouse producing team and went back into the studio to record songs that they deemed too good not to put on the album, it’s a real disappointment.  Imagine if they had blown it up and gone for this year’s model of Achtung Baby or at least the experimental near-success of Pop.  But, they probably can’t anymore.  That sense of career gambling is more than likely forever behind them.  And that’s not the end of the world.  They’re at least putting out records-to-be-taken-seriously after almost 30 years.  It could be worse.  A lot worse.  Chris Cornell worse.

So, not 5 stars and not their worst album.  The answer lies somewhere boringly in the middle.  And U2 wasn’t meant to be in the middle.

Best Song:  Magnificent

Worst Song: Stand Up Comedy

Final Score:  5 out of 10

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4 thoughts on “The MDL Review: No Line on the Horizon

  1. Jerry MaDick says:

    I read somewhere that Bono used my schwanicker as the inspiration for “Magnificent”.

  2. T. Slow says:

    Well played.

  3. Monty says:

    The sad thing is, your review of the album seems to have been perverted by an over-eager scrutiny of its production process, a mis-estimation of Coldplay’s importance, and the usual “a couple of songs don’t suit my taste = they are ‘bad'” confusion of fact and opinion that plagues many who dress up their personal views as some sort of objective criticism.

    Truth is, the album on its own, without all that peripheral baggage you’ve thrown on its back, is very, very good. The Stand Up Comedy lyrics you suggest as insufferable are done much better service when heard and not read. The quieter tracks you make no mention of are awesome, moody piece that balance out the shining bluster of Breathe and Magnificent, and the experimentalism you claim to crave but have clearly missed is on full displat in tracks like Fez, Unknown Caller, and the title track.

    5/5 it is you like, but you’d need to provide a little more critical substance to justify such a low grade for such a great album.

    Just because they’re Rolling Stone doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Just like being Pitchfork doesn’t make them right, either.

  4. Orchester says:

    I have a lot of respect for Bono and U2. All the same, nothing on this CD has grabbed me. It is my opinion that this isn’t close to being U2’s best and certainly pales in comparison to their last two albums.

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