February 25, 2009 by MK
I’m Jamie Foxx. And I want to win another Oscar. As my costar Robert Downey, Jr. says, I may even go “full retard” to do it. Whatever it takes to get up on that stage again and get everyone to be a part of my really cool trip. Just wait ’til you hear the call-and-response I have worked out for this acceptance speech. Let’s get to the nomination worthy particulars:
Real-life story of character that’s had a rough go at it? Check.
A tremendously bad hairdo? Check.
Funky, self-made visor that flat-out proves I can act quirky?
Musical instrument to be “learned” that makes for great copy about the “lengths I went to for this role?” Check.
Character with diminished mental capacity? Check.
Also homeless? Check.
Also triumphant? Wow, check.
Ample opportunity to make this face?
This movie sucks.
And I haven’t even seen it.