February 23, 2009 by MK
Say it ain’t so. U2’s new record, No Line on the Horizon, has gotten the patented Rolling Stone 5-star treatment. This one of course being “their best since” Achtung Baby. And, apparently, Bono is in fine, masturbatory form:
Bono knows he was born with a good weapon for making the right kind of trouble: the clean gleam and rocket’s arc of that voice.
Well, one thing’s for sure. Their career is over. It’s all obligatory from here on out.
They’ve joined the Rolling Stone 5-Star Rushmore of Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen.
So, by all means, record Larry Mullen, Jr. taking a dump and release it. You’ll get your 5 stars.
In the spirit of truly 5-star U2, here’s their top 3 all time:
1. Achtung Baby 
Eleven years into their career, U2 lets their inner-Eno take over. One of the coolest reinventions in rock history.
Best Song: The Fly
2. The Joshua Tree 
A [Super]star is born. Not many albums do “soaring anthem” better.
Best Song: Where the Streets Have No Name
3. The Unforgettable Fire 
Wide open spaces and The Edge’s guitar come to a climax on the record’s Best Song, Bad.