Top 15 Best Album Covers

Feel sorry for kids raised on mp3’s.  They’re missing out on a major component of musical enjoyment:  Album art.  And great covers almost always coincide with a fitting title and quality music to form an integral part of the whole package.  Viva la vinyl!

Limit 1 per artist/band (I’m looking at you, plethora of awesome Pink Floyd covers!).

15.  Outkast ~ Stankonia

You are entering the United States of Outkast.  There’s a Riot Goin’ On circa 2000.

14.  Johnny Cash ~ At Folsom Prison

The Man in Black caught hard at work, mid-sweat.  “Yes.  I am this cool.”

13.  The Strokes ~ Is This It

The original and vastly superior version.  Very Rolling Stones.  If the Rolling Stones were still making good records in 2001.

12.  The Grateful Dead ~ Shakedown Street

The perfect companion for the title track – funky, loose and vibrant. The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The album cover art for Shakedown Street was drawn by Gilbert Shelton, creator of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers and other popular titles from the San Francisco underground comics scene.

11.  Pearl Jam ~ Vs.

The original title, Five Against One, further illustrates the mindset of the band and the music in 1993.  In-your-face and ready for a fight.  “I will hold the candle til it burns up my arm / Oh, I’ll keep takin’ punches until their will grows tired.”  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The black and white picture on the album’s front cover is of a sheep from a farm in Hamilton, Montana.

10.  Sufjan Stevens – Illinois

Illinois needs to put this on the border as their “Welcome” sign.  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

Because of legal issues regarding the artwork, Asthmatic Kitty Records briefly stopped sales of the album and asked retailers to do the same. Though not stated explicitly in the label’s notice, the cover’s depiction of Superman, a comic book character which is the property of DC Comics, is assumed to have been the source of the legal problems. On the vinyl edition released in November, Superman’s image is covered by a balloon sticker.

9.  The Who By Numbers

Connect-the-dots courtesy of bassist-extraordinaire John Entwistle.

8.  Led Zeppelin ~ Houses of the Holy

Zeppelin were masters at packaging in particular (see the 4 “surprise” covers of In Through The Out Door).  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The cover art for Houses of the Holy was inspired by the ending of Arthur C. Clarke’s novel Childhood’s End (The ending involves several hundred million naked children, only slightly and physically resembling the human race in basic forms). It is a collage of several photographs which were taken at the Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland, by Aubrey Powell of Hipgnosis.

7.  The White Stripes ~ White Blood Cells

The best use of the black, white and red color scheme found throughout White Stripes lore.

6.  Nirvana ~ Nevermind

Captures the cynicism, humor and boldness of Cobain’s approach.  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

According to Cobain, he conceived the idea while watching a television program on water births with Grohl. Cobain mentioned it to Geffen’s art director Robert Fisher. Fisher found some stock footage of underwater births but they were too graphic for the record company. Also, the stock house that controlled the photo of a swimming baby that they subsequently settled on wanted $7,500 a year for its use, so instead Fisher sent a photographer to a pool for babies to take pictures.

5.  Elvis Costello ~ Armed Forces

As the songs within spell out, Love is War.  And it will trample you underfoot.

4.  Pink Floyd ~ Wish You Were Here

There are many possibilities for top Pink Floyd album cover (Atom Heart Mother, Animals and Dark Side of the Moon to name a few), but this iconic image takes the cake.  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The original vinyl release was intended to be shrouded in an anonymous, all-black plastic wrapper.  Removing this outer wrapper then revealed the proper artwork with its now-famous cover: the flaming businessman, shaking hands with his counterpart. Three other photographs on the back and inner sleeve represented the remaining elements: a faceless salesman selling Pink Floyd products in the desert (earth); a naked female figure in a grove, barely visible behind a windswept red veil (air); and a splash-less diver half submerged in Mono Lake (water). A postcard with an alternate version of the latter picture – and “Wish you were here” written on the back – was also included.

3.  The Beatles ~ The White Album

How do you top the iconic assemblage of Sgt. Pepper’s?  You don’t.  For The White Album, the Beatles simply let the crazy-enough-already music speak for itself.  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The album’s sleeve was designed by Richard Hamilton, a notable pop artist who had organized a Marcel Duchamp retrospective at the Tate Gallery the previous year. Hamilton’s design was in stark contrast to Peter Blake’s vivid cover art for Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and consisted of a plain white sleeve. The band’s name was discreetly embossed slightly below the middle of the album’s right side, and the cover also featured a unique stamped serial number, “to create,” in Hamilton’s words, “the ironic situation of a numbered edition of something like five million copies.” Indeed, the artist intended the cover to resemble the “look” of conceptual art, an emerging movement in contemporary art at the time.

2.  Neil Young ~ On the Beach

If David Lynch did album covers.  Beautifully cryptic, the artwork seems like a series of clues into the psyche of Neil Young in Nixon’s America.  Newspaper headline (below table) reads:  “Senator Buckley Calls for Nixon to Resign.”

1.  The Clash ~ London Calling

Rock & F*cking Roll.  The ‘must-be-true’ Wikipedia says:

The album’s cover features a photograph of Paul Simonon smashing his Fender Precision Bass against the stage at The Palladium in New York City on 21 September 1979 during the “Clash Take the Fifth” US tour. Pennie Smith, who photographed the band for the album, originally did not want the photograph to be used. She thought that it was too out of focus, but Strummer and graphic designer Ray Lowry thought it would make a good album cover. The cover artwork was designed by Lowry and was a homage to the design of Elvis Presley’s debut album.

The Torch

With his had-it-up-to-here evisceration of Jim Cramer last night, Jon Stewart solidified his place in late night history.  He, and only he, is the rightful owner of David Letterman’s seat when Dave decides to hang it up.  Case in point, succinct sarcasm of the highest order:

Cramer:  We got 17 hours of live TV a day to do.

Stewart:  Maybe you could cut down on that.

In one line, Stewart checkmates Cramer.  It’s that kind of nimble-minded, cutting remark that has been Letterman’s stock-in-trade for almost 30 years now.  Most recently found in the infamous Joaquin Phoenix interview when he finished with, “I think we owe Farrah Fawcett an apology.”  Letterman and Stewart are the laser-guided missiles of comedy, always knowing when to blend sarcasm and intellect to punctuate a moment.

It’s a cliche by now, but the most insightful and competent interviews of public figures is being done on late night comedy shows, specifically those of Letterman and Stewart.  Sad statement about our society, yes, but at least there’s someone looking out for us.

As Letterman was the rightful heir to Carson, Stewart is the rightful heir to Letterman.  And that’s saying something.

The MDL Review: No Line on the Horizon

So, we’ve already lamented the fact that Rolling Stone sent U2 to the showers early with that obligatory 5-star review.  But now that No Line on the Horizon has had a few official days to breathe, let’s put the MDL’s official review to web paper.

In short, it’s a mixed bag.  No Line rings with promise but descends to such comedic lows that it’s hard to believe all the talent in the room (U2, Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois and Steve Lillywhite) couldn’t recognize the difference between transcendent (‘Magnificent’) and truly dreadful (‘Stand Up Comedy’).  And the fact that perhaps the worst song on the album, “Get On Your Boots,” was chosen as the first single (let alone for album inclusion) is a stunning oversight.  You mean to tell me that Brian Eno, a man of impeccable taste, listened to “Boots” and said, “This needs to be on the album guys” (Digression:  I will say that the bridge of “Let me in the sound” is what the 80’s me would have called “rad”).  Or that he heard Bono’s lyrics from “Stand Up Comedy” and didn’t want to smash the boards with a Louisville Slugger?

Stand up, this is comedy
The DNA lottery may have left you smart
But can you stand up to beauty, dictator of the heart
I can stand up for hope, faith, love
But while I’m getting over certainty
Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady

Now, I come from the school of Lyrics Don’t Matter but this is simply too much to stomach.  It certainly doesn’t help that Bono’s vox are way up in the mix so there’s no eluding a line like, “I’ve got a submarine / You’ve got gasoline / I don’t wanna talk about wars between nations.”

But that’s the worst of it.  The best of it does, in fact, soar.  Opener “No Line on the Horizon” captures a “Where the Streets Have No Name” side 1/track 1 vibe.  And the perfect follow-up is achieved with the Pop-esque anthem “Magnificent.”  Tracks 3 and 4 remain sturdy enough to trick you into believing Rolling Stone’s 5-star review.  And then the bottom drops out.  As is their way, U2 frontloads the record with all the good songs, only to come up for air again with track 10’s ascending “Breathe.”

I hate to say it, but we’ve already heard this U2, and better.  They’re called Coldplay.  Especially when you consider that they took 5 years, aborted sessions with Rick Rubin, rounded up their powerhouse producing team and went back into the studio to record songs that they deemed too good not to put on the album, it’s a real disappointment.  Imagine if they had blown it up and gone for this year’s model of Achtung Baby or at least the experimental near-success of Pop.  But, they probably can’t anymore.  That sense of career gambling is more than likely forever behind them.  And that’s not the end of the world.  They’re at least putting out records-to-be-taken-seriously after almost 30 years.  It could be worse.  A lot worse.  Chris Cornell worse.

So, not 5 stars and not their worst album.  The answer lies somewhere boringly in the middle.  And U2 wasn’t meant to be in the middle.

Best Song:  Magnificent

Worst Song: Stand Up Comedy

Final Score:  5 out of 10

1,000 Reasons Not to Live Before You Die! Back to Reality Edition!

#222

Turns out you can go home again.  It just sucks.

In the week since “Slumdog Millionaire” won eight Oscars, the child actors have gone to Disneyland, arrived to a heroes’ welcome in Mumbai, and tried to go back to their previous lives.

Two of the kids, Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali, have returned to their homes in the slums. They have also gone back to their English language school, the tuition of which is part of their film payment.

On Friday Ismail was photographed getting hit by his father and as of Sunday, had taken ill, vomiting and with a temperature of 103 degrees.

Thanks God.  Thanks a lot.

Why I Won’t Be Seeing This Movie: Madea Goes to Jail

Get it?  It’s a man.  Dressed up as a woman.  An old woman.  And he/she is persnickety.

It’s a rule as old as time.  Man say something = not funny.  Man say something in dress = funny.

Thank you Tyler Perry for your unending stream of creativity.  And thank you God for Tyler Perry.

This movie sucks.

And I haven’t even seen it.  Unless of course I have.  19 years ago.

If only Jim Varney had thought to put on a dress.